Why can't Pati get clean?

During most of our stay we have been in a comfortable guest house with a modern bath. However, for two days, we stayed in a room where the bathroom consisted of a modern shower head, an equally modern bucket, no soap, and no towels. Pati saw a mall down the road and went on a quest to find soap and a wash cloth. When he got there he found an Indian massage salon with a sign that said free shower and steam with oil-based massage. Pati went in and was given a menu that he couldn't understand so he pointed to an entry about half way down the page and said "Is this oil based?" The receptionist said yes and Pati said he'd take it.

Pati was lead to a wood paneled room and given a pair of paper undershorts to wear. Since he saw the sought-after shower in the corner, he put them on. He immediately noted that most of the salon's customers must be fairly slim. The image that came to Pati's mind when he finally got them on was Baby Huey.

Having read about Hindu modesty, Patty expected a male masseuse. He was quite surprised when a female Korean masseuse entered. As Pati was pummeled by hands of steel, he guessed she must be North Korean with some kind of military background. Finally, the massage ended and - aside from some swelling in one arm - it wasn't too bad.

The masseuse left and it was just Pati, some soap, a towel, and the much sought after steam shower. The shower was high tech with a control panel. The instructions Pati had been given on its use were "Do steam, then shower, then steam." Pati found a button that had a steam icon and pressed it. He soon noticed that, because of the steam, he could no longer see the control panel. Since it was getting really hot, Pati jabbed the control panel where he roughly remembered the shower button to be. Through the fog, he saw the word "ALARM" flashing. Obviously, the wrong button.

Pati started pushing buttons randomly hoping to turn the alarm off before he was dragged naked to safety without his shower. Finally the alarm stopped and finally the shower started. A shower, soap, a wash cloth, bliss. After showering, Pati pressed the steam button again. He really didn't like the steam but he was going to use it since he had paid for it! After a couple of minutes, the shower suddenly stopped and the lights went out. Using a carwash model of what was happening, Pati assumed his bath was over. He dressed and went to the receptionist to pay with a charge card. She said "No can use charge card. Power went out." Oh, well. Pati finally felt clean.

Location:Delhi,India